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1. You are not a Croat. 2. Basketball teams. 3. You can choose between several war criminals in Presidential elections. 4. You can enjoy positive media coverage of your country when abroad. 5. You can fight 600 year-old battles against the Turks and their domestic collaborators, be convinced that it's happening right now, and not be entirely wrong. 6. You can always go to Greece and Cyprus and fear nothing. 7. Grilled meat and slivovitz. 8. You get to drink slivovitz and eat grilled meat even when under economic sanctions. 9. You are the only European country which will be bombed by the NATO. 10. Every now and then you get to fly to the Hague at someone else's expen
1. Two World Wars and One World Cup. 2. Warm Ale. 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket. 4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events. 5. Union Jack/George's Cross underpants. 6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer. 7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power. 8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not. 9. Ditto changing underwear. 10. Beats being Welsh.
Top Ten Reasons for being a French
1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay. 2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time. 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs. 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early. 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on the 'alternative' films channel. 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries. 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star. 8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride. 9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street. 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.
Top Ten Reasons for being a Irish
1. Guinness. 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives. 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road. 4. Pubs never close. 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on. 6. No one can ever remember the night before. 7. Kill people you don't agree with. 8. Stew. 9. You can emigrate just so you can tell everyone abroad how good Ireland is. 10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.
Top Ten Reasons for being a German
1. Oktoberfest. 2. Okotberfest-beer. 3. BMW. 4. VW. 5. Audi. 6. Mercedes. 7. On a motorway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world. 8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language. 9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious. 10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet)
I hope I don't hurt any nationality with this jokes.
